dragonwarder | (no subject)

Sometimes. ( he agrees with a soft nod of his head, ) but she loves you, and that will not have changed.

( his fingers wrap around the mug, feeling the warmth sink into his palm. a slow breath against the surface of the tea. )

Only if you would rather I kept my distance.

( because they are friends, aren't they? would be friends even without rey to act as an intermediary. the thought is a strange one ㅡ comforting and unsettling. )

[His first statement gets her to scoff lightly. Kylo Ren, talking about how Rey loves her. Her doubt is poisonous -- and there is a moment where she reflects on it internally. She'd never really questioned it previously, that Rey cared for her. But now that Kylo Ren is trying to tell her so, it seems something of a joke.

Or maybe she was just taking Rey's absence harder than she wanted to admit. Fortunately, his follow up catches her off-guard some. She'd only been stating what she thought was obvious, but then she feels a bit foolish when he does not go along with the jest.

She lowers her cup from her lips.]

I would welcome your presence as often as you wish to provide it.

[She pauses again, grappling with her emotions and attempting to decide which to engage with and which to leave lying down. Admitting out loud that she didn't expect Kylo Ren to want to stick around her without Rey to soften the social burden is too much for her to confront, so she leaves that alone.

Instead, she offers another truth:]

I did not seek to imply otherwise. To be true, the apartment has been unpleasantly quiet.

I would imagine so.

( what with their not being around to cause a ruckus. it occurs to him that he should feel worse about that then he does — it does push other, more treacherous thoughts to the surface, but he pushes those down. practised at it, now.

a silence that teeters on awkward settles over them. this is harder than he’d expected it to be, and it reminds him of how poorly suited for conversation he is. the empathy bond would be a godsend, were it not for the fact that he would then have to make himself vulnerable, and stars know he loathes that. )

If I can help — ( — well, he would do what he could, obviously, but leaves it up to her to decide what shape that help might take. )

[Daenerys doesn't engage his offer of help. It doesn't feel right to accept -- and it would require her to ask for help, which she had never been very good at doing to begin with. So, rather than engage with that directly, she decides to finally broach the topic that she'd been avoiding.]

I spoke to your father at length after you both disappeared.

[It isn't said like "we need to talk" levels of gotcha, but it indicates she may feel reluctant to have this conversation with him.]

I was not intending to speak of you or Rey, but I suppose he felt obliged to reach out when he realized you were both gone.

Edited 2020-03-10 07:25 (UTC)

( there is a brief moment where he goes rigid, because there is a delicacy to the way that she broaches the subject that suggests the conversation isn't going to be one that he enjoys. )

He must have been desperate.

( matter-of-fact. han solo doesn't reach out to anyone unless there was no other alternative. )

Perhaps.

[She agrees with his assessment, but not necessarily the reason behind it. They were, after all, only acquaintances. He'd known that she was alone, and she reminded him of people he had known.

Reaching out to her no doubt felt natural. But she doesn't need to go into that detail. In truth, she isn't sure how to feel about being so closely similar to so many people in their world.]

I owe you my honesty, and I did not know if you were coming back.

[That is uncomfortable to admit, in truth. To admin that she had feared the worst, that thinking of it drove her to action on his behalf.]

So, I pressed him about his treatment of you.

And you have questions?

( she's asking without asking. swallowing another careful mouthful of tea, kylo considers this and then decides that he can give her this if she wishes it. he owes her that much, he thinks.

or perhaps he simply wishes to talk, finally. to share this with someone that might not immediately dismiss his feelings out of hand, too dazzled by his family's collective legend. )

No.

[She lets him digest that response while she figures out exactly what she'd hoped to gain from this honesty. Part of her wonders if she might have been wrong to offer it -- if offering it was cruel, to have him think that she now thought differently of him.

She didn't, of course. She valued nothing more than her own experience, and her experience told her that Kylo Ren was a valuable friend to have.

He cared about her.]

One man's word could not so easily cause me to doubt the man you've been to me, Kylo Ren. I only thought you should know that he reached out to me, and I made my opinion of him known.

[He had managed to change her opinion enough that she would not continue to be hostile toward him, but he would need to do a great deal more to sway her allegiance from the man beside her.]

I am more interested in what you would have to say about him, than what he would have to say about you.

( something in his chest loosens when daenerys speaks, unwinding. truthfully, he hadn't expected it to be as easy as that. usually there were demands of some kind demands that he explain himself, that he defend his decisions.

he is so accustomed to being caught on the wrong foot that he doesn't quite know what to make of this at first. then, his head tips to the side. conceding. )

I'm not sure I know where to begin.

( the old hurt lingers, but it's no longer as sharp or as bitter as it once had been. relief at an opportunity to make at least one of his many mistakes right. )

I'll start then.

[Daenerys drifts over to a chair, pulling one out for Kylo Ren to take if he wishes. If not, she will just sit and stare upward at him. It isn't her preferred sort of manner of address but -- well, this was heavy for him. If she took a moment to examine it, it was a bit heavy for her too.]

He spoke much of your power, and your struggle with it. The one you and Rey no longer have here. How there were no resources to assist you in managing what it gave you.

[Something else she could relate to, though she does not say quite so much so quickly. It is an invitation for him to offer his perspective.]

My power.

( he repeats the word. it makes a sort of sense, then, that this is where they start. )

My grandfather was a powerful man. Feared. ( he has to pause a moment, to consider the context. ) A warlord.

My mother wasn't aware of her connection to him until she was much older. She and her brother were hidden from him when they were children.

[She nods in understanding. Quite the burden. And knowing where it came from, the fear made more sense -- however Han had tried to deny it, fear was involved in their decision-making. Maybe not of their son, but of what could come of it.]

I might understand why.

[But then, she might not as well. Her fingers momentarily tap on the table, clearly uncomfortable.]

They called my father the Mad King before one of his Kingsguard stabbed him in the back. My brother and our caretakers used to remind me. Daily.

I'm sorry.

( it comes quickly, easily, and with a surprising amount of sincerity for all that it clearly makes them both uncomfortable. making oneself vulnerable was like this, he was realizing. even when it was good it felt awkward and unsettling. )

I didn't know until I was older. My mother's heritage was exposed publicly, and the galaxy turned on our family for a time.

It was difficult. ( on the one hand it explained so much of their fear. on the other, they had kept the truth from him and in doing so had denied him something of the peace he had so desperately craved at the time. )

[Daenerys holds her tea close to her in silence for a moment, letting its warmth soothe the unsettled feeling in her chest.]

Knowing has done little for me. Only to know that I do not want to grow into him. But the nature of being in power is that there is always someone who wants you to fail.

[Did his parents want him to fail? She doesn't think so. But someone obviously did, or he wouldn't be ... like this. So full of doubt.]

Did you ever find who wanted you to fail?

One of them.

( there is still a vicious sort of pleasure in the knowledge that he struck down snoke. that he was able to free himself when even vader himself had failed. )

Though he was not the threat I believed him to be. ( oh, he was vicious. canny. all the things he had been warned against, but he hadn't been the true threat. ) He will be a greater challenge, but hardly insurmountable.

( the question is less could he kill palpatine than: how and how to ensure he didn't rise from the ashes a second time. )

[Daenerys smiles at Kylo Ren's zeal, but the smile is short lived. She finishes what is in her cup before pushing it away to instead lean on her folded arms.]

It is a pity that we all seem incapable of assisting one another with those sorts of problems. I certainly would not mind some additional might to take the Iron Throne, in exchange for eradicating whatever ghost plagues you.

[Not that she would need the help. Not with three dragons at her disposal. But it was a nice thought anyway. At least she could likely count on Kylo Ren to lend her some aid, unlike another black-haired man she could name.

Yes. Still mad about Jon Snow and the North.]

( kylo ducks his head in acknowledgement and gratitude. daenerys has never been one for placations. and, while there was doubtless more to her statement than a simple offer of support, it still feels good to have it.

kylo drains his mug, reaches out to daenerys so that he can take hers. )

We may yet have a chance.

( mugs secured, kylo heads over to the sink and runs the water. )

Someone has figured out how to bridge the worlds. Once we know how that has been accomplished, it should be possible to replicate.

( unspoken is the fact that this would open the door for more than just popping across the multiverse for tea and a catch-up. she's smart enough to figure that out on her own. )

[She offers her cup without thinking of it, and the gesture is accompanied with a small and quiet sigh. The simple act reminds her of how restless she'd been, being alone in the apartment. The gesture of interacting seamlessly with another human wasn't something she would have thought to pine for.

After all, she made something of a point to distance herself from others.

Kylo's words, however, unearth a chuckle from her.]

You make it sound so simple. But I suppose it must seem so, to a man who traverses the stars.

[Just to put this all back into perspective, in case he'd forgotten. The amusement covers up her momentary dread in considering it. If the bridge between worlds were open, and all of ... this flooded her homeland -- it would change beyond recognition. Power structures would shift, violence would no doubt break out as a result of the confusion and mad scramble for resources and influence.

It would be utter chaos. And her smile fades off.]

Westeros does not need all of this.

No, ( he agrees, thinking along similar lines. he lapses into a brief silence, washing her mug after his and then leaving them both to try. ) but it does deserve a leader that would see to its interests.

The rest will come with time, as it’s meant to. Imagine the gifts you could bring upon your return. The things you have seen and learned.

[They would think her mad, of course. Sharing any of this as if it was meant to be shared. It is a nice thought, bringing proper medicine and healing techniques. But how many of them would cry of blood magic and witchcraft?

Daenerys had done the same, at first. And she could not count on everyone to be practical about it. She would need to force the change, and the knowledge.

It wasn't like she was not already planning on doing that with the balance of power.]

I suppose you are right.

[She cannot quite discern her hesitation, at first. But it could be a unification point against her, she realizes. Cersei would certainly take advantage of it, if she did not remove her first.]

We are a long ways off of such accomplishments.

[And for now, she is content just to have his company again. Now if only they could find Rey. She taps her finger on the table a few times -- a nervous, and impatient sort of tic.

She was still very angry with her. But she could not divorce her feelings entirely -- angry as she was, hurt as she was, she was also very worried.]

...will you keep me informed, as to Rey's whereabouts? Obviously, she is avoiding me as well, but I am certain you will have better luck locating her than I.

( kylo’s eyebrows jump, betraying his surprise. did she think that he wouldn’t? )

Of course. ( he blows out a breath through his nose, a momentary frown furrowing his brow before his expression clears, settling into something more impassive. burying his doubt and fear.

he would find her — assuming riku didn’t beat him to it. the younger man appears determined. and, perhaps, it’s better that it’s riku if only because rey has every reason to be furious with him. and, while he’s not fearful of her anger, he is well aware of the fact that she is less likely to return to the city at his beckoning. )

What else has happened while we were gone?

[He's going to make her say it, isn't he? The look she throws him is a bit sheepish, perhaps even scolded, before she looks away from him and leans on the table.

Ever since Rey had left, she had been avoiding people and conversations. She'd even left behind other endeavors she had been pursuing in favor of ... reading. Sitting around. Throwing herself into work.]

I am perhaps not the best person to ask.

[It seems odd, to suddenly need to admit that she hadn't been social. That was the very antithesis of being a queen, was it not?]

Oh?

( there’s no judgment to the question, merely a soft lilt of inquiry as he tries to pin down what precisely could have made her face dip so.

beyond the obvious, of course. )

I wonder ㅡ ( he begins, stalls and then tries again: ) my father is not in the city, currently. ( which is, perhaps, just as well given the tumultuous churn of his emotions right now. facing han solo on a good day would be a challenge, facing him now … after everything, but especially their most recent conversation. )

Would you mind if I stayed here for a little while?

[There is a moment of silence -- not just because Kylo's request is startling, but because she becomes aware that Han is now missing as well. She could not imagine that he'd be pulling similar stuns on his son that Rey was pulling on her.

It felt only yesterday that she had spoken to him of family, of love, and of struggle.

Daenerys smiles for Kylo Ren.]

I would be honored to have you. Perhaps it would do us both some good.

[And there was an empty bedroom. But she cannot quite joke about that, just now. No matter how hurt she was -- she still cared for Rey, and could not help but hope for that normalcy again.]

( gratitude swells in his chest.

returning to his apartment, to not only the reminders of his family but of his own loneliness, feels particularly difficult right now. not all that different from the time rey had moved out. he'd adjusted, eventually.

sort of.

his spending most of his nights here, in or out of rey's bed, or tucked away on one of the lumpy sofas, listening to daenerys talk about her monsters, probably didn't count. )

Thank you. I'll return to my apartment later, grab a few things. Maybe pick up dinner on the way back.